I am the laziest person in the world. It takes me a lot of effort to switch off the television, get off the couch, and do what has to be done.

As I sit here clicking away, there is a Pyrex pan in the sink that needs attention. I will get to that as soon as I am done with this. In the office, where the magic happens, my desk is the landing space for all things that don’t otherwise have a nook or cranny in which to be stowed. Of course, if I wasn’t so lazy, I would get up as soon as I realized this, and do something about the clutter.

Throw it in the garbage or the recycling (both overflowing and need to be hauled to the curbside cans by Friday morning). There is a stack of paid bills that could be filed away as soon as I’m done with this.

Dinner tonight, hmm, look in the fridge, which needs to be emptied of long-expired groceries. Some sit in jars and have, over time, developed colonies that would baffle scientists. Don’t ask me about the freezer, I am too lazy to open the door.

I am not too lazy to fetch a pizza. Dinner! Here it is March, April 15 ahead, and I need to call the accountant, who is not lazy, at least this time of year. Got to make an appointment as soon as I am done with this.

And there is the steadily growing mountain of homemoaner tasks that await my attention. I have to go to the garage, face that mountain, and find a plane. Doors around here need to come off their hinges to have edges planed to as not to get jammed in their jambs. While we are on the subject, the hinges all have to be tightened. That requires a trip to Home Depot. I will drive over there as soon as I am done with this.

I need to clean the kitchen so in case I get the energy to do some cooking I will mess it up anew. This is a family column, so we don’t need to discuss the bathroom, but you can imagine.

The bedroom is where I collect dust bunnies. The entire place needs good, strong vacuuming. I will need to get some bags. Maybe I should make a list. Laundry — yep.

Maybe just a short nap on the couch. I will be very busy when I am done with this.

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