Shoe tree

I remember reading an article about toxoplasmosis. This is parasitic disease that can be very dangerous to pregnant women, can cause flu-like symptoms in all who are exposed, and is often associated with cat boxes. This is why I was required to handle cat box duties while my children were gestating within their mother.

Everyone, including me, survived; however, the article I read relayed results of a study that found that one of the side effects of exposure to this disease is a tendency to buy an inordinate number of shoes. Even though this is a correlative finding that may not bear up to scientific scrutiny, I may have been exposed.

I live in a house full of shoes. They burst out of the closet long ago and started forming piles in the corners, like snowdrifts. The sad realism is I keep buying more. I have a Zappos app on my phone and it is a favorite place to burn my retinas while waiting for a train or riding in an Uber or sitting across a restaurant table from a companion when I could be having a conversation. They don’t notice because they are often paging through their Amazon app, possibly buying shoes.

In attempts to make life normal, I have experimented with various racks and shelves I have purchased locally exclusively for the purpose desired. The first rack I bought lived in the closet for a while. It opened up much more storage space for about five minutes.

I decided to hang up a rack on a closet door that boasted of enough storage space for almost all the inventory. I hung it up, loaded it, and stood back to admire my genius, when the whole thing fell off the door, bending some of the aluminum tubing from which it was constructed, and spilling shoes all over the place.

I contacted the manufacturer, wherein it was explained to me that this was a recognized design flaw and they were happy to ship me redesigned components. While I waited for the package, I bought some more shoes.

I have lately developed self-control and I will no longer buy shoes if I don’t throw or give away a pair in advance. This system has not solved the problem but it has not gotten worse.

I have not been near a cat box for quite a while, and I have not been tested for toxoplasmosis.

Why would I want to be cured?

No shoes is good shoes.  


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